It's been interesting having people know. They immediately want to know how I'm doing when they see me. The answer is that I feel the exact same way I did before I found out that I had cancer. Nothing has changed. The biggest change is that I feel overwhelmed by the outpouring of support and love... I really do have great friends and family! Thank you!
Today, after a miserable morning... (Wait! let's talk about that for a minute before we go on...) On Sunday, the littlest girl hugged me and she winced in pain. I asked what was wrong and she said her cheek hurt. I looked down at her face and it looked slightly swollen. As the day went on, the cheek got more swollen. By the next morning, her cheek was sticking out twice as far as the other side. Not normal! Fortunately for her her, she was not in too much pain, just some slight discomfort. She has, not 1, but 2 abscess teeth that are causing her trouble. With the holiday yesterday, we had to wait until today to see the dentist. We left in plenty of time to get to our 9:10 appointment by 9:00. On the phone, they told me that I would be done by 9:30/9:40 just in time to make it to my 10:00 doctor's appointment for myself. SO... we left in plenty of time, except no one mentioned that we were in a hurry to the hundreds of other people that were late to work and crowding the streets and prolonging rush hour. We got to her 9:10 appointment at 9:20. So, instead of being 10 minutes early, we were 10 minutes late. This made it so that we weren't even done checking out or getting in my car until right about 10:00. Luckily, I called my doc's office and they had a 1:00 appt. and could take me later! Hurray!!
So, today, after a miserable morning, I had my regular doctor's visit. You know, the one that I am supposed to go to and tell the doctor that I have lost 5 more pounds and the one that I went to a month ago and told the doctor about the lump on my neck that led me to this whole crazy journey... yah, that one. Today, I went and he said, "So, how did you do?" I told him that I weighed pretty much the same as last month, because I do. That I think it's because I have been stress eating, a little, but that I am on my way back down, but it is slow progress. He gave me a look and said, "and what else?" I looked at him and said, "Well, I have Thyroid Cancer... (he looked a little shocked, so I gently reminded him...) which you told me about, but because of that, I have concerns about taking my thyroid out before we do a full thyroid panel. I REALLY want to do a full Thyroid Panel. My TSH levels are always normal... usually between 1-2, which is completely normal... but I have ALL of the symptoms of hypothyroidism. Before we take the thyroid out, I want to make sure that we know exactly what my body does with the hormones before we give it replacement hormones for the rest of my life. It just seems like a good idea." He nodded in agreement and said, "okay" and we continued to talk for a minute about thyroid cancer and my treatment. Then I said something about, "that's why I want to make sure that my body doesn't have a problem converting T4 to T3 or something..." He then started to tell me what other doctors have said, both in their offices to me and according to other patients in different forums on the internet... "Most people don't have a problem with T3. You won't have a problem. I don't think we'll see what you think we'll see." UGH... enough. When will everyone stop assuming that my body works exactly like it's supposed to? If it did, I wouldn't be overweight, exhausted, freezing, and have the inability to remember the fact that I bought an entire dessert for guests and forgot we had it, even when talking about how much we all would have really liked some dessert (brain fog is a symptom).
As the doctor drew my blood, I told him about the 2 endocrinologists. I told him about how the 2nd one suggested that I get a biopsy done on the lump on my back, just to make sure. He scowled. "No, it's just a lipoma. I can take it out here in the office in 10 minutes, if you want. It's not a big deal. But, if you want... I will send you to have an ultrasound done, just to make sure." He finished drawing my blood and set it aside to write that order. Then he wanted to look up what tests to run on the blood to put the codes on it. I started to tell him... "A comprehensive thyroid panel consists of Free T4, Free T3, Reverse T3, antibodies..." He interrupted me. "You don't need the antibody tests done, you are getting your thyroid out so it won't matter." I continued, "Those other 3 tests are the most important to me. I want those done for sure, but the antibody test is included in the full panel, they will test my thyroglobulin levels after surgery, so we don't need to test those now." He paused and looked up at me with a look that was half amused and half annoyed. "Let's start with these 3 and the TSH (which is also part of the full panel but I don't care about because mine is always normal) and go from there." Fine. Getting my T3 levels tested was more important to me than winning an argument about antibodies or full panels. We will call it a partial win.
I came home and made my appointment for my back ultrasound (soft tissue s---ll---). I wish I knew what that "s" word was. I swear it looks like surveillance. For once, Google was no help in decipherment. By tomorrow afternoon, some doctor should know for sure if that, in deed, is fatty tissue, or something more sinister looking... cue suspenseful music...
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