So, Spencer was with me when I got the news, so he knew already. Carter was having a bad day a week ago Friday, so I felt like I should tell him... I know, I know... that sounds mean. For him, it works. He was very upset about his soccer game getting moved and messing up his plans for going to a friend's house. This after finding out that he was going to have a very, very long play rehearsal, and that he needed to finish his cooking project. He was so upset and kept rambling on about how unfair it all was that I finally said, "Well, I do have good news... I don't think I'm going to die." He stopped and looked at me, "Why would you die?" "Because I have cancer. But it's very treatable and they just have to take my thyroid out and it will all be gone, so it shouldn't really be a big deal." He sat there stunned for a second or two until I decided to break the silence, "I do have bad news, though." "What?" "The women on Nana's side of the family live until they are really old, so I'm probably going to live pretty much forever and never leave you alone... and always be in your business." He groaned. That was bad news. The situation was diffused and he had calmed down. He went from being nearly inconsolable to being nearly rational. Later that night, he said, "I'm more upset about not getting to go to my friend's house than I am about finding out that you have cancer." "Gee, thanks!" "Well, you know, you told me it wasn't a big deal... and I believe you. I think everything is going to be okay."
This morning, we called all of the kids together for "Family Home Evening." This is something encourage though our church as a weekly event, a set aside family time to discuss various topics to learn something to improve family life, increase individual spirituality, or encourage temporal self-improvement. It is typically held on Monday nights, but that usually doesn't work for our family because of soccer and taekwondo, so we have been trying to have it on Tuesday... except that hasn't been working out lately, either. Dave was leaving to go to Texas right after church, and we wanted to do this as a family, so 10:30am Sunday morning, it was... I passed out a piece of paper with a picture of an organ from the body to each child, along with a tiny tub of play dough. I instructed each child to use their play dough to construct their organ. Tayla did the heart, Miana the brain, Spencer the thyroid (in which he replied, "well, this is awkward"), Carter the stomach, Dave the kidneys and bladder (which he was on the phone so I actually sculpted for him), and I had the lungs. We then went around the circle and talked about what each thing did. I then took a different color play dough and added small bits to some of the other sculptures, saying, "sometimes, our organs have cells that don't belong on them that begin to grow on them. That's what we call cancer. So if someone says they have cancer, it usually means they have cells growing in a place or in a way that they shouldn't be." I then took Spencer's thyroid sculpture and added a few "cancer" cells to his. I said, "This is the kind of cancer that I have. It's on my thyroid. The way we are going to get rid of it is to cut out my whole thyroid, then the cancer will be gone from my body and I will be just fine."
The girls didn't say much. I think they were trying to take it in and process the information. Dave talked about everyone needed to help out while I recovering from surgery and possibly having other treatment. The girls didn't have any questions, really. At one point, Carter looked at me and said, in a loud whisper across the table, "I don't think they get it." I think he was expecting some crying, or them being upset. They did both ask me a few more questions about it this evening, but neither one has been very upset by the news. I am very grateful for that!!
So, there you have it. It's all out there. Once the kids all knew, the word suddenly spread fast. Carter, apparently, texted some friends this morning to tell them all. Because, why not?
No comments:
Post a Comment