No Joking Matter...

When I first heard that I needed a biopsy, the very first thing that popped into my head was the quote from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" where Aunt Voula is telling the story of her lump and she can't say the word.  She says the doctor did "the bio... the b... the... the bibs... the... b... the bobopsy."  My sister and I joked as I went in for my "bibopsy" that if I found out that I had cancer that I would simply send this picture out to the whole family:

I have to say that as I was having the lump on my back scanned, this picture was ALL I could think about. The technician was fairly certain the lump was a lipoma, just as my PCP said it was. Sorry, no twin... I was, ever so slightly, disappointed.

As I've discussed various aspects of my life recently with various people, they of course ask about my health, but then the conversation turns to the everyday.  The mundane. Sometimes I get the silence from the other person and I can see on their face, "You shouldn't have to deal with that right now..." But they wouldn't be thinking that if I didn't have cancer. So, I tend to break the silence with a light hearted, "Spencer asked if he could tell his teachers that his Mom had cancer so that he didn't have to turn in homework for the rest of the school year. I told him that if I still had to do laundry, clean the house, cook the dinner, drive them to their activities, and everything else that comes up, that he can do his homework.  We need to save 'I have cancer' for something big like not having to pay taxes or better yet... Getting to go to the front of the line at Disney World."   As for Disney, I'm looking into that, I just think I'd feel too guilty to use it, even if I really needed it.  Unfortunately, I think the government doesn't have a free pass for taxes, it would be cool if they did... A cancer card for discounted taxes or discounts on other things or something. Can someone look into starting a program like that? The Cancer Card... Some kind of discount card, good at all restaurants or stores or something or that is just society's way of saying, "sorry this happened to you."  

My husband and I have joked about me telling the surgeon to do a chin tuck during the surgery, then while she's at it, to just take care of the rest of the body... You know, just so it's all in proportion to the new, skinnier neck. It would, at that point be the only responsible thing to do, right?  (And therefore medically necessary and fully covered by insurance, right?) 

Several people, including the kids, have asked what happens to the thyroid when they take it out. We have told them that we intend on putting it in a glass display case on the fireplace mantel. Then I explain that, no, as I understand it, it is removed in small cross sections, cut much like a loaf of bread, so that they can label and categorize each piece for study. This is how they determine what stage cancer I have. 

It is okay to joke about it. If I can't keep laughing at the situation, then I might just cry about it... I'd rather laugh. Feel free to share your best jokes with me, any time!