Friday, August 11, 2017

A lot of catching up to do...

In the days leading up to surgery, I had a lot of feelings that I hadn't really let myself have before.  I was starting to feel apprehensive about the future, I was thinking about the "what ifs."  I planned things out... to take care of some of those "what ifs."  I even recorded myself telling my husband and kids that I loved them, just in case my voice was damaged and I couldn't ever say it again.  Maybe it was a little silly, but I knew that if my voice was damaged, I'd be happy that I had it.  I also knew that if something went terribly wrong and I never woke up from surgery, that perhaps they would find it on my phone and have one last message from me.  Again, not a likely scenario, but I felt like it was good to record the message, just in case.  I dealt with the feelings, as they came, pretty much hid them from everyone.  It helped that I had a lot of real life happening to hide behind.  On top of coming home from vacation and going to an escape room for the first time, we had 2 kids with ear infections that needed attention and one of those lost a toe nail.  After caring for them all weekend, I took my oldest to the DMV to get his learner's permit and then took both boys to get hair cuts, then my oldest to 2 hours of Taekwondo.  It was sort of a crazy few days taking care of others and running around.  It helped to not think about myself, though... it always does.

On August 1, we woke up early and left to drive to DC.  Traffic was almost non-existent so we made it to the hospital an almost hour early!!  We decided to go ahead and check in, thinking maybe they would just have us wait a while in the waiting room, but they didn't.  We checked in quickly and I got taken back to my pre-op waiting area.  They had me change into my gown and got me settled on a bed.  They asked me tons of questions and I was then told that I would have to answer all of those same questions for just about everyone else that came through there and that I should expect to see: the anesthesiologist, an OR nurse, my surgeon's nurse, and (eventually) surgeon.  They did say my surgeon was in the clinic that morning and wouldn't be able to come in until right before surgery.  I did, eventually, see all of those people (and then some!).  When my surgeon came in, she was happy and seemed glad to be there... which is always very comforting.  She commented that it had been awhile she had last seen me and asked if anything had changed since we last met.  I got a very serious look on my face, took a deep breath, and said, "Yes, the cancer has spread throughout my body and is masquerading as fat and excess skin here and here (pointing to my flabby arms and stomach).  You have to remove it all."  She looked shocked and then just started laughing.  I think she was happy to see that I was in good spirits.  Within minutes, a huge crowd had gathered at my pre-op area and began introducing themselves as my surgical team.  I was wheeled back to the OR, where I was introduced to a few more people and as I came in and met them I said, "so many to help with my surgery, and not a single one of you is a plastic surgeon?  That is so disappointing."  They all laughed, I got settled on the operating table and that is the last thing I remember.  They didn't have me count backwards from 100, none of that.  I don't even remember them saying they were putting me under.  I just remember voices next, my doctor and my husband talking about the surgery, and then drifting back to sleep, off and on, hearing the voices around me in the recovery room.  Eventually, I heard someone talking about finding me a room for the night.  I opened my eyes and looked around.  The nurse asked me how my throat felt.  Someone came in to draw blood.    I was told I needed to drink some pink liquid (liquid tums) then I told them I needed anti-nausea medicine.  They gave me something in my IV.  My husband came in and said, "It's good to see you awake, I've been in to see you every hour or so, but you've been asleep a long time... it's 7pm."  I smiled at him and closed my eyes, feeling like I just wanted to go back to sleep again... It took quite awhile to find me a room.  By the time I got settled and sent my husband home and finally asked for pain meds for my throat, it was late, like 9pm.  I don't know when I had pain meds last.  It seemed to take forever for them to get them to me.  They brought me these HUGE pills to swallow with my sore throat.  ??  Why?  Who knows.  Liquids, people, liquids... or my IV...  either would have been fine.  I hadn't had anything to eat since the night before (24 hours+ since solids) and was starting to feel the effects of that.  I asked for a drink of water and maybe some juice.  The juice burned in my throat.  I started to cry.  The nurse brought me a lozenge just so I could numb my throat enough to take my pills.  It helped a lot, should be standard issue.  Took me a few hours to make it through a little bit of juice and my cup of water.  My nurse then brought me a bigger cup of water and an even bigger cup of ice!  Yay!  I slept off and on through the night, getting woken up by people needing to take vital signs, draw blood, and give shots (PS - still had an IV in, would have been nice to get those in there...)  Before 7am, my entire surgical team, minus the doctor, showed up in my room.  I know it was them because they announced it, "It's just us, your entire surgical team!"  They said I could go home when I was ready and told me how to care for my incision.  That was it from them, no update on how the surgery went.  Nothing.  I'm sure if I had asked more questions, they would have answered, but I was still sort of out of it.  I could have a conversation, but it took days for the full effects of the anesthesia to wear off where I trusted myself to be able to fully concentrate. Long story short... I left the hospital that day just after lunch time.  I was so happy to be home!  

I am healing nicely.  It has been a week and 3 days since surgery and I don't have much information.  I will know more after my follow up visits next week with both Dr. R and Dr. V.  I don't know yet if the medication is at the right dose and I just had one day (on Tuesday, one week after surgery) where I had tremors in my hands and wasn't sure if it was a blood sugar issue or synthroid issue.  I ate lunch and it went away, so for now, it looks like it was blood sugar.  Below is a picture of my incision.  The first is the morning after surgery, the 2nd is the day after that (about a week ago), and the third is today.  The human body amazes me.


I have had phone calls from long lost friends (okay not lost, just been a while since we got to chat), emails and cards from extended family members, and countless texts and FaceBook messages from family and friends checking in on me.  I am feeling so blessed and well taken care of.  Things really couldn't be going better right now. 

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